How to Spot 5 Red Flags in a Relationship
You have a fantastic connection with an amazing person. They are kind, make you laugh, and give you that warm fuzzy feeling–you’re in love. Sometimes, love puts rose-colored glasses on our eyes, making it difficult to see the realities in the relationship. It can be tough to step aside and look at someone for who they are, but if you want a long lasting and healthy relationship, then you need to. Here are a few red flags in a relationship to keep an eye out for.
- Lack of Trust: A lack of trust is damaging to any relationship. There may or may not be a reason to have a trust issue. Either way, it could cause a rift in the relationship. If something did happen which causes the other person to feel threatened in the relationship, then there needs to be a resolution agreement to help rebuild that trust within the relationship. Without that, there’s little that can save the relationship. A big issue that can’t be resolved is when a partner is distrustful of the other if nothing has threatened the relationship. There’s nothing that the other person can do to win their trust, because honesty isn’t enough for them. Perhaps there is something in their past that has made trust issues with them, but that isn’t something that a Significant Other can fix. That’s an issue to be handled with the person and a therapist. If they aren’t willing to work on it between themselves, then there is nothing that can be done to save the relationship.
- Other Loved Ones Don’t Like Your S.O.: Love is blind, and sometimes, it can make you overlook some glaring issues with your partner. Those close to you may be able to see things more clearly. It can help to have an outside perspective. They know who you are, and have a good barometer for what type of person is a good fit for you. If your parents and friends have a problem with your S.O., then you might want to dig a little deeper into the reason why.
- Controlling: A controlling partner comes in many different forms. They can be controlling in how you form opinions, who you spend your time with, and how you spend your money. Usually this comes with snide remarks, passing blame, and guilt-trips. One partner wants to know that they have the ability to make you do what they want. That’s a very dangerous situation. They don’t trust you to make decisions for yourself, and they want to have the final say in all aspects of your life. Either way, a controlling partner is a red flag that you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
- Lack of Respect: This can be a little harder to spot, but this is critical. Does your partner respect you? Do they say kind words in front of others? Do they look to support you and your needs? Do they look to help you with tasks and give words of affirmation? Even if they do all of this, but act rude towards a waiter, you know that eventually that will be directed your way. Lasting relationships are made up of mutual respect and attention, which is why this one is so important.
- Priorities: Where are your partner’s priorities? You can tell what is important to them with how they spend their money and their time, and what they aren’t spending their money and time on. If someone chooses to overspend every weekend at the bar instead of saving up money for paying off debt, then you can immediately tell that their priorities are out of whack. Another telltale sign is if they constantly choose to go hang out with their friends on their down-time, instead of spending it with you. There’s nothing wrong with seeing friends or going out for some drinks, but there should be a balance.
Looking for these red flags in your relationship can help you find someone who respects you, communicates openly with you, and brings you joy. Of course, there will come disagreements, but if you have a strong foundation, then you can weather the tough times. Be open and honest with each other about what your goals in life are. That way you can work together as a team to find happiness. That’s true love.